Carbon Monoxide

Went over to Meagen's place to see her off on her trip. When I arrived, all of the windows were open and the furnace was off. It is winter. There is snow outside. I am cold. I'm told that the carbon monoxide detector is beeping. Indeed it was. So, I say, why don't we just call the fire department and let them check this out? Now, I'm thinking that they'll just send over one of their little jeeps and pull out a detector and make a pronouncement. Instead, I hear sirens and a hook and ladder truck pulls up. Four firemen jump out (one getting hit in the face by a door that was prematurely slammed shut). They charge in and one of them pulls out a flashlight and screams, "where is the detector?" He shines the light on it and stands back as if waiting for it to explode. The other three guys stand in the dining room and look tough (arms crossed and just staring at the floor). A few moments later the jeep that I expected pulls up. A guy in one of those fancy fire uniforms swaggers in (wearing epoulettes, don't you know). He says, "what seems to be the problem?" "Over here, chief, over here," says the guy with the flashlight who has taken a posture to remind one of a hunting pointer. After a moment, the guy with the epoulettes (and CO detector) says that there is no reading coming through. Perhaps it is just an old detector, he suggests. Then he adds, "it's cold in here, is the furnace broke?" (Meagen and I hit our foreheads in unison) One of the tough guys shouts, "we're getting a call!" and they are out the door in a flash. They also all wore their boots in the house, which is really a no-no, but I supressed my urge to tell them to take off boots before coming in. After they left the thing continues to beep, so I kick it off the wall and discover directions on the back. A series of four beeps means CO poisoning. A single beep means low battery. A trip to TOPS resolved the problem.